HSPmentor.com

  • Home
  • Meet Joe
  • Services
    • HSP Coach and Mentor
    • NLP Life Coaching
    • Testimonial Speaker
  • Blog
  • Contact

July 13, 2016 by Joe Leave a Comment

Differential Susceptibility for HSPs

faces

Differential Susceptibility for HSPs shows us that Highly Sensitive Persons can thrive in the right environment, but can also suffer in the wrong environment.

Dr. Elaine Aron writes about this topic in her newsletter, pointing out the theory first described by Michael Pluess and Jay Belsky.  Multiple studies showed that in good environments, Sensitives had better outcomes than Non-Sensitive People.  As Dr. Aron states, “rather than being Vulnerable to damage, they were Susceptible to everything”.  New research on the ‘better’ side has been so plentiful that Pluess and Belsky adopted the term “Vantage Sensitivity” to describe HSPs gaining more than others when in a good environment.  

In her newsletter link above, Dr. Aron lists some of these examples of good outcomes for Sensitives that weren’t found for Non-Sensitives in the same study:
  • Better parenting leading to higher academic performance and teacher-rated social skills
  • Low family adversity leading to more pro-social behavior
  • Good home environment leading to less aggression
  • Positive feedback during a literacy-skills training leading to greater literacy skills
  • Mother’s responsiveness leading to child behaving in a more moral way
  • Positive parenting leading to positive emotions in adolescence
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety leading to reduced anxiety
  • Recent positive life events leading to lower neuroticism scores, more life satisfaction
  • Partner’s positive emotions before discussing a marital disagreement leading to more positive feelings in the sensitive partner after the argument

For parents and partners of Sensitive, the above list represents something to strive for (see expanded version in Dr. Aron’s newsletter).  These good outcomes should serve as encouragement for the 20% of males and females globally who identify with our innate trait.

All the Best,

Joe Capriotti – “Coaching to Thrive Through Sensitivity”

Filed Under: Difficult Environments, HSP, Temperament Tagged With: Highly Sensitive Children, HSP Support

July 6, 2016 by Joe Leave a Comment

The Power of Rest for the Highly Sensitive Person!

Napping on couch

It goes without saying that we all benefit from rest.  There are currently a myriad of sleep-related articles and studies promoting the benefits of a good-night’s sleep. Some of these benefits include improved health, safety and longevity.  But a good-night’s sleep is just the beginning of the recommended amount of daily rest for the Highly Sensitive Person.  

According to Dr. Elaine Aron, author of “The Highly Sensitive Person”, targeted rest for HSPs would follow this formula:

a.  8-10 hours in bed per day, sleeping or not, plus 2 hours additional downtime to meditate, contemplate, putter, etc., plus 1 hour of outdoor exercise.

b.  One day per week completely off – no errands, no working at home.

c.  The equivalent of one month per year off, preferably scattered throughout the year.

If this formula sounds like a challenge, I’m here to suggest you give priority to it, and schedule it.  Why?  To avoid overstimulation….the curse of the HSP!  This down time is soooo terribly important, and if we don’t get it, we often pay the consequences.  Likewise, staying well rested puts us as HSPs in a good situation once we are exposed to strong stimuli (sound, light, scent, taste, touch).

What to do if your circumstances don’t permit your getting anywhere near the sum of Dr. Aron’s formula?  Let’s look at some creative ideas in getting rest for the Highly Sensitive Person:

  1. Naps – whether it’s a 10-minute power nap during a lunch break, or a full out 1-2 hour nap on a day off, naps may do wonders for your sensitive soul!  I was introduced to naps during my life-altering event in 2012, and now strive for one daily.
  2. Meditate – simply sit or lie still for 5 or more minutes, and just recognize the thoughts coming in and out of your mind.  Don’t try to control them, just go with it.  This is very powerful, particularly for HSPs, who need this time for the conscious and subconscious minds to interact.
  3. Mini workouts – so you don’t have an hour to exercise outdoors, or perhaps your current outdoor climate isn’t conducive to outdoor activity.  Take your favorite activity, and move it indoors as best you can.  Exercise such as strength training, yoga, or simply walking the local mall are good choices for HSPs and non-HSPs alike.  As little as 10 minutes of these activities can provide health benefits, to include stress reduction.
  4. Outings/Excursions/Day Trips – so you don’t have time to take a full week off from work?  Consider a mini-vacation where you get out of town monthly, even if it’s just overnight.  A day trip can be a wonderful break from the daily grind, especially if you have another to share the driving privileges.  And lastly, golf can be quite an escape, providing fresh air combined with moderate activity…..just remember to unplug from your electronic devices whenever possible.

Now get some rest!

Joe Capriotti – “Coaching to Thrive Through Sensitivity”

Filed Under: Highly Sensitive Children, HSP, HSP and Rest Tagged With: HSP Support, Rest for HSPs

May 30, 2016 by Joe Leave a Comment

HSP Meetup Groups

HSP Meetup GroupsThe Website Meetup.com offers opportunities for people to meet others in their community who share common interests.  Many major cities have a Meetup group for Highly Sensitive People, and their are over 200 HSP Meetup groups globally.  Why do I recommend that HSPs join HSP Meetup Groups?  First and foremost, to spend time with others who understand and appreciate our innate trait.  This simple step is such a healthy one, providing opportunities to connect with fellow HSPs and share our experiences.

For communities without HSP Meetup Groups, I encourage organizing one.  The Meetup site is very well organized, and simplifies the process for Organizers to get a group started.  Dr. Elaine Aron offers suggestions on running Meetups for HSPs in her book entitled “The Highly Sensitive Person’s Workbook”.  The pairing of these two resources alone should prove sufficient in getting a group up and running.

Here are some recommendations for Organizers of HSP Meetup Groups:

  • Hold formal monthly meetings either in central locations, or rotating around the areas of town that members reside.  Consider reserving meeting space at local libraries or similar quiet areas.
  • Utilize website ‘Settings’ to permit members to suggest casual Meetups in between the formal monthly Meetups.
  • Use the Group ‘Settings’ file to require a photo and/or question when new members apply, and set to “Organizer must approve”.
  • Use the HSP Meetup Group’s home page to add sufficient background information about our trait, including Dr. Aron’s description of DOES, and a link to her HSP self-tests.  This will enable you to keep the inner details of your group’s Meetup site on private setting, while prospective members can still determine if your group is right for them.
  • Use ‘Polls’ to gather input from members as needed.
  • Consider using the email option through the Meetup site to communicate with all members, and check the box which also posts to the group’s message board.

That’s all for now.  Feel free to contact me with any questions regarding HSP Meetup Groups.  If you like this post, I recommend signing up for my newsletter at the top of this page.

All the Best!

Joe Capriotti – “Coaching to Thrive through Sensitivity”

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: HSP, HSP Support Tagged With: HSP Meetups, HSP Support

May 15, 2016 by Joe Leave a Comment

7 Habits of Highly Sensitive People

Highly Sensitive People

 

In his best selling book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, the late Dr. Stephen Covey compiled the following habits taken from some of the greatest minds in human development:

  1. Be Proactive – are my actions based upon self-chosen values, or upon my moods, feelings and circumstances?
  2. Begin with the End in Mind – have I written a personal Mission Statement which provides meaning, purpose, and direction to my life?
  3. Put First Things First – am I able to say “no” to the unimportant, no matter how urgent, and “yes” to the important?
  4. Think Win/Win – do I seek mutual benefit in all interdependent relationships?
  5. Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood – do I faithfully reflect my understanding of the other person before seeking to be understood?
  6. Synergize – do I value different opinions, viewpoints, and perspectives of others when seeking solutions?
  7. Sharpen the Saw – am I engaged in continuous improvement in the physical, mental, spiritual, and social-emotional dimensions of my life?

Dr. Covey chose the word “Habits” based upon the Law of the Harvest: we tend to reap what we sow.  “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character, sow a character, reap a destiny.”  

Map showing creation of good habits

So how can we as Highly Sensitive People best benefit from Dr. Covey’s 7 Habits, considering our genetic trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity?  I will attempt to shed some light on that using some tips that I’ve found helpful to incorporate the 7 Habits into my life:

• Be Proactive – taking time to determine our personal values is such an underrated task.  I did this activity with my personal Life Coach last year, and it’s changed the way I think of just about everything in life!  When meditating or just sitting quietly, allow yourself to think about what’s important to you in life.  Declaring your values is extremely powerful, and you will witness your actions aligned with these values much more often than your mood, feelings, and circumstances (to include other’s values which may not mesh with yours, especially if the person/s are non-HSP’s)!

• Begin with the End in Mind – whether using a personal Mission Statement, or just some clearly defined goals, taking the time to think about what we want out of life provides that “compass” effect which keeps us on track.  For Highly Sensitive People, a little work on the front-end can provide peace of mind on a regular basis.  We tend to be good planners and deep thinkers, so why not use our strength in this area of our lives as well?

• Put First Things First – when we as HSP’s focus on first doing what we define as important, we put ourselves in better position to avoid over-stimulation.  This can best be accomplished through weekly planning of important, but non-urgent tasks.  In this way we have plenty of time to deal with urgent matters that must be addressed, while already having time blocked out for our priority tasks/projects/etc.  Don’t forget to schedule all-important down time for yourself to decompress following overstimulating tasks or events.  Using a calendar in our smartphones, Outlook on our PC’s, and/or simply a pen and paper calendar system will bring this to fruition.

• Think Win/Win – Highly Sensitive People are at a disadvantage given we are the less-dominant 20% of the population.  That said, I submit that everyone is either related to, or at the very least knows one or more HSP’s on this planet.  At 20% of the population, we are near 1.3 billion strong!  So there is some common ground to keep in mind in your dealings with others.  Aside from that, working towards mutual benefit in our relationships is the right thing to do.  When one party loses in a relationship, we never will know how many other lives may be negatively affected as an outcome.

• Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood – it’s so easy to say, and sometimes so difficult to do, right?  As HSP’s we tend to have high Empathy for others, which provides us the opportunity to do what Dr. Covey refers to as “listening with the eyes and the heart, in addition to the ears”.  When speaking with someone who is angry, “Seeking First to Understand” is an amazingly disarming approach that can alleviate stress for all involved!

• Synergize – For HSP’s, our opinions, viewpoints, and perspectives add additional value to discussions held among the other 80% of the populous, and we need to be heard!  And by respecting and appreciating others’ opinions/viewpoints/perspectives, we can create the opportunity for a 3rd alternative, or what Dr. Covey refers to as “one plus one equals three or more”.  So in cases where two sides fully understand each other, and still disagree, it may be wise to seek that 3rd alternative.

• Sharpen the Saw – Dr. Covey states this habit cultivates the previous six habits, and creates self-mastery.  We need to take time for ourselves in the 4 areas noted, and those with full plates should schedule this time to make sure it happens.  A good book to read for suggestions is “The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide” by Dr. Ted Zeff.  Also check out my blog “The Highly Sensitive Person and Exercise”.

That’s my take on “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” for HSP’s.  If you like this post, please consider signing up for my newsletter.

 

All the Best!

Joe Capriotti

“Coaching to Thrive through Sensitivity”

 

 

 

Filed Under: HSP, HSP Support Tagged With: Good Habits

May 9, 2016 by Joe Leave a Comment

Life Metaphors…for the Highly Sensitive Person!

Life Metaphors

What are Life Metaphors?  Do you have one, and if so, what perspective does it provide?  How does it affect your life through its inherent strengths and weaknesses?

During my NLP Practitioner training at the iNLP Center, we completed a module on Life Metaphors that has profoundly changed my life.  Prior to the module I tended to look at life as a destination.  The challenge with this type of Life Metaphor is the constant rush to get to where one is going (literally and figuratively)!  It was not a healthy Life Metaphor for a Highly Sensitive Person, much less for non-HSP’s.  Since the training module, I’ve adopted the Life Metaphor “Life is a Journey”.  This particular statement has been much more empowering and provides considerable more freedom than the prior.  “Life is a Journey” encourages a slower pace and enjoyment of the moment, both keys to reducing over-stimulation.  To the HSP, this can also be used as a mantra to stay on track when tempted to get sucked into the whirlwind of life!

There are all sorts of Life Metaphors, and the key is in first identifying the one we’re living with. If the current version works for you, then great.  If not, perhaps it’s time to try out some other options, and ultimately adopt a new Life Metaphor.  I unconsciously lived with “Life is a Destination” for way too long, and really wish I had known of this powerful concept much earlier in life.  NLP Life Coaching provides some wonderful tools to get there in a fun and efficient manner.  Please contact me to discuss how NLP Life Coaching can enhance your life!

Cheers,

Joe Capriotti – “Coaching to Thrive Through Sensitivity”

 

Filed Under: HSP Worry and Stress, NLP Life Coaching Tagged With: Life Metaphors, NLP Life Coaching

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • Next Page »

My Blog Posts by Date

December 2019
M T W T F S S
« Jan    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  

Search This Site

Recent Posts

  • iNLP Center Review:
  • HSPs as Sports Fans


Music Provided by Michael Kollwitz

Copyright © 2019 · Executive Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in